Damage

It's amazing how the people closest to you can harm you the most and do so much damage

I try and stay strong but still I don't think any one can handle this

I attempt to remain calm because I should be able to maintain

But the truth is our relationship hasn't remained the same... its changed

Still I can't let it influence me because I have to be ready for the next

I've listened, I've learned and I grown for the past mistakes... the ex

I know my worth and no one can take that from me

But I do have to question why I keep the present company

My heart hurts and I know that out there is better

But I battle with the fact that I should be able to weather

Weather any storm... right? Because that's what a good woman would do

I just struggle with the fact that I am weathering this storm for you.

The is no future in us, there never was

So am I in this "relationship" just because

No ultimatums, I am just done

I have no problem conceding that you've won

Moving on is beyond just a statement

Its a journey that lead to exactly where I take it

I'm a big girl, do you know what we do when there's damage

I pick myself us, dust myself off , take the hole in my heart and bandage it

I didn't know

Who would've thought you would've ended up as my best friend

Not many would have predicted you could make it to the very end

Trust and friendship I didn't think you could grasp

But I knew we equaled greatness, you do the math

I saw the potential when we first met

I still remember the spot, I will never forget

I wonder if time had played out different

Then I stop because something about this was meant

Maybe you were meant for greater things and maybe so was I

I wonder if I could ever replace you, you know with another guy

Could I truly care for him and support him the way I do you

Or is it just one shot, and that part of me is closed and through

Could I smile when he he is happy and cry when he gets sad

Will I care enough to inquire when it looks like he's getting mad

Will I anticipate his needs too and have a plan all thought out

Will I want the world for him and go and buy the mall out

Hmmm good questions, I wonder what the answers could be

I didn't know life would be this hard, somebody could've told me

I mean I wouldn't leave me hanging, left without guidance

I don't know the answers, I just hope that someone out there will help me find them.

Yesterday

I keep turning around but I can't seem to go back to yesterday

I can't resist the urge to look back, and can't wash the fear away

As long as I carry you in my heart, I can't seem to keep the tears at bay

If I keep re-living the past, for me there will never be any escape

Can't pin point of the source of the pain, but I know it can't go on

I wonder if you went away would it all just be gone????

What will do it for me? Maybe a replacement is needed.

But it would be impossible for another to go where you've already succeeded

We both know without each other we don't exist

And we can't resist allowing the other to be missed

Stuck in a perpetual circle repeating all that we have been through

But a repeat of the past is not what I want for you

If I had the choice to go back to yesterday, would I, NO, yea I said it

The past is sweet, but we both know its jaded.

I miss the feeling, the moment, the warmth that yesterday brings

The hope that when I wake up omorrow will be the same thing

I miss the security, the hope. the trust.

Knowing that together there was nobody greater than us.

I miss the idea of loyalty, honesty and truth

I miss all the things I use to see in you.

Maybe I would go back and re-live yesterday just to say that I did it

Maybe I could change the past if I would have been more willing.

... I don't know, but I do know that its too late

Because I see that today is trying to escape

And soon it will be tomorrow

And now I am afraid that it will bring more sorrow

Because then I will start to miss right now

And I'm in it, trying to save it but how

I can't let go but I don't see how I have a choice

I want to scream but someone has taken my voice

Why did yesterday leave so quickly

I'm not done I still have more in me...

Caged Bird by ME

A caged bird only sings only one song, that is one like no other
It only knows that one song that was sang to him by his mother
He turns and twists, flutters and flies just as if he were free
But in his eyes the sorrow deeply hides, his soul in captivity
He longs for bigger better things, a home without any bars
The door is open, but still he stays, because his fellow birds don’t reach for the stars
So in he stays, never once does he stray, captured by his own thoughts
He sings his song and dreams his dream, forever in his cage they haunt.

Bag Lady by ME

Bag lady, stretching her legs in the pond
Washing her feet cause she ain't got no shoes on

Shaking her head and contemplating her thoughts
Thinking this is the life the wages of her sin bought

She has no home and no car and no man
This is the life she chose because from the rest she ran

Bag lady sleeps alone, all alone with her voice
Bag lady, miss independent, all a product of choice

Don't Cry Anymore- I hope you like it.

When I wake in the morning, I don't cry anymore.
Because I've seen the mountain and I don't try anymore.
I have face my demons and I don't lie anymore.
When lay down for bed, I don't cry anymore.

My streets are clean and I don't hide anymore.
My love is flawless and I am not shy anymore.
My head is clear and I don't fight anymore.
I seen the morning and I don't cry anymore.

My rules are simple and I don't deny anymore.
I've heard your story which I don't buy anymore.
I live my future so I don't try anymore.
I've lived my past so I don't cry anymore.

Lovely

So much in life seems to be determined by your perception and outlook, but in all reality it always go back to love. When you love you feel loved, and vice versa. Plus and most importantly GOD is love. I think our problem stems from unconditionally love or the lack of it. The Bible instructs us to love men of all sorts, your brothers, your neighbor and strangers alike. Yes, even your enemies. As hard as that may seem, take a moment and meditate on that for a bit. What does it mean to really love your neighbor. Would you give your life for a perfect stranger? Why not, someone gave theirs for you?

As the new year ushers in a lot of people will make promise with all intention to keep them but unfortunately will fail. This time try just loving people in general no conditions, no expectations, just pure love. See how much you life changes or better yet improve.

I have been privileged to know a lot of human beings in my lifetime, I can write a book on each. The one thing they all had in common is that they were each perfectly flawed. But in each I found a quality good enough to imitate. And for that I am grateful, but like I said they were each perfectly flawed, and in each of them I saw part of myself helping me to see that I am too perfectly flawed.

From so many things in my life I have moved on. And as each new chapter is written I make certain promises to myself, almost like a rule or lesson from each chapter helping me to look forward to the next. Even though most ending in some sort of heartbreak or demi-tragedy, I have grown. I am now better equipped for the next. So for all those reading this that was some how connected to my former life, I am bringing back the love.

Today's Bring It Back ...
LOVE