So much in life seems to be determined by your perception and outlook, but in all reality it always go back to love. When you love you feel loved, and vice versa. Plus and most importantly GOD is love. I think our problem stems from unconditionally love or the lack of it. The Bible instructs us to love men of all sorts, your brothers, your neighbor and strangers alike. Yes, even your enemies. As hard as that may seem, take a moment and meditate on that for a bit. What does it mean to really love your neighbor. Would you give your life for a perfect stranger? Why not, someone gave theirs for you?
As the new year ushers in a lot of people will make promise with all intention to keep them but unfortunately will fail. This time try just loving people in general no conditions, no expectations, just pure love. See how much you life changes or better yet improve.
I have been privileged to know a lot of human beings in my lifetime, I can write a book on each. The one thing they all had in common is that they were each perfectly flawed. But in each I found a quality good enough to imitate. And for that I am grateful, but like I said they were each perfectly flawed, and in each of them I saw part of myself helping me to see that I am too perfectly flawed.
From so many things in my life I have moved on. And as each new chapter is written I make certain promises to myself, almost like a rule or lesson from each chapter helping me to look forward to the next. Even though most ending in some sort of heartbreak or demi-tragedy, I have grown. I am now better equipped for the next. So for all those reading this that was some how connected to my former life, I am bringing back the love.
Today's Bring It Back ...
LOVE
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Is It a State of Mind?
What do you do when you have a bad day and you have no one to talk to?
Do you open your arms to the next stranger that finds you?
Do you turn on the stereo, find a good CD or listen to i-tunes?
I think I think, analyze and then think some more, that's what I do.
I remember and replay each moment in my life that lead me to here.
I recount each and every move I made through out the year.
I think of every conversation or whether the ones that aren't so painful to replay
I think of all the things that I didn't but should have or wanted to say.
I have sacrificed so much and in a sense given myself
And all I have learned is that you can't let someone else determine your wealth.
When the chips are low and you are close to down in out, take stock
It is not always going to be easy, but since you will go through a lot
Know that these ones will be there and will not judge you but those that are so easily swayed
Know that you they didn't have your back anyway.
They will pretend to and recount times when they did
But when you no longer benefit them they are gone quick
Then slowly piece by piece you learned about who they really are
Then you will wonder how you let it get this far
How you could be so naive
To sacrifice so much and then be deceived
Because we will all make mistakes that is just what they are mistakes
But when you learn about a person's core and it is not what you thought, you start to feel the hate.
The truth will always reveal itself in due time, that is a universal truth
So maybe you will waste time like my memories arrested in youth
But as much as it hurts today, I know there is more in tomorrow.
Wasting time is not the height of my sorrow.
Not getting what I still want, not achieving a goal, being unsatisfied it my pain
The difference between happiness and contentment, which are not one in the same.
This is what happens when you let your happiness depend on another
When you become so invested that from any slight mistake you can't recover.
All humans are imperfect but capable of love from the start.
That's why the bible teaches us to forgive, because GOD has a heart.
Happiness as a state of mind I don't believe.
Or is it a mind state that I can't achieve.
Do you open your arms to the next stranger that finds you?
Do you turn on the stereo, find a good CD or listen to i-tunes?
I think I think, analyze and then think some more, that's what I do.
I remember and replay each moment in my life that lead me to here.
I recount each and every move I made through out the year.
I think of every conversation or whether the ones that aren't so painful to replay
I think of all the things that I didn't but should have or wanted to say.
I have sacrificed so much and in a sense given myself
And all I have learned is that you can't let someone else determine your wealth.
When the chips are low and you are close to down in out, take stock
It is not always going to be easy, but since you will go through a lot
Know that these ones will be there and will not judge you but those that are so easily swayed
Know that you they didn't have your back anyway.
They will pretend to and recount times when they did
But when you no longer benefit them they are gone quick
Then slowly piece by piece you learned about who they really are
Then you will wonder how you let it get this far
How you could be so naive
To sacrifice so much and then be deceived
Because we will all make mistakes that is just what they are mistakes
But when you learn about a person's core and it is not what you thought, you start to feel the hate.
The truth will always reveal itself in due time, that is a universal truth
So maybe you will waste time like my memories arrested in youth
But as much as it hurts today, I know there is more in tomorrow.
Wasting time is not the height of my sorrow.
Not getting what I still want, not achieving a goal, being unsatisfied it my pain
The difference between happiness and contentment, which are not one in the same.
This is what happens when you let your happiness depend on another
When you become so invested that from any slight mistake you can't recover.
All humans are imperfect but capable of love from the start.
That's why the bible teaches us to forgive, because GOD has a heart.
Happiness as a state of mind I don't believe.
Or is it a mind state that I can't achieve.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Poppa Don't Preach
Doesn't really matter that I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl.
He was only the Dude that brought me into this world.
He wasn't there when I learned to walk.
Does it really matter that we don't talk.
He wasn't the one to pick me up after each fall.
I shouldn't even care that he doesn't bother to call.
I found a new father and he loves me unconditionally.
I don't measure my our happiness by what he can do for me.
Even when I can't hear his voice, I know that he cares.
And its his name that I am proud that I wear.
No matter what good or bad.
This type of love I am glad to have had.
Even though he can he does not make me feel judged.
When I am heading in the wrong direction he gives me that nudge.
He doesn't stand before and kick me when I am down.
He doesn't leave me when there is no one else around.
I feel privileged this man to have found.
He took your place, dad, when you weren't around.
He was only the Dude that brought me into this world.
He wasn't there when I learned to walk.
Does it really matter that we don't talk.
He wasn't the one to pick me up after each fall.
I shouldn't even care that he doesn't bother to call.
I found a new father and he loves me unconditionally.
I don't measure my our happiness by what he can do for me.
Even when I can't hear his voice, I know that he cares.
And its his name that I am proud that I wear.
No matter what good or bad.
This type of love I am glad to have had.
Even though he can he does not make me feel judged.
When I am heading in the wrong direction he gives me that nudge.
He doesn't stand before and kick me when I am down.
He doesn't leave me when there is no one else around.
I feel privileged this man to have found.
He took your place, dad, when you weren't around.
It's Over
The pedestal has disintegrated.
No longer do I look at YOU with "child's eyes"
I was wrong but I am not the bad guy.
Even though I miss you, I can ask myself why?
Our difference is that I confessed to my lies.
I can see myself in so many situations.
I look back at the memories that no one can replace them.
Through the hazy clouds I can still see your face and then.
I smile.
I used to think that contentment lead to resentment, but no longer.
It's so cliche but in a sense I feel stronger.
I have found the one thing to finally quench my hunger.
I guess I am saying that I am okay that it's over.
No longer do I look at YOU with "child's eyes"
I was wrong but I am not the bad guy.
Even though I miss you, I can ask myself why?
Our difference is that I confessed to my lies.
I can see myself in so many situations.
I look back at the memories that no one can replace them.
Through the hazy clouds I can still see your face and then.
I smile.
I used to think that contentment lead to resentment, but no longer.
It's so cliche but in a sense I feel stronger.
I have found the one thing to finally quench my hunger.
I guess I am saying that I am okay that it's over.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Ode to a Best Friend
This is my never ending story.
With twists and turns could never be boring.
So unique unlike any before me.
But isn't not me but he that should receive the glory.
I tell the tale of the greatest boy.
Quite clever and charming and ever so coy.
The type that I thought I would never annoy.
But ah at last, I was robbed of that joy.
This once upon a time, doesn't end so great.
The fate of my burdens that I tried to escape,
Caught up with me at an alarming rate.
So alone now, its more than one girl can take.
As taught by the wise ones before me, life will go on.
Not everyday a victory is won.
But treasure each day like life's just begun.
But I let my happiness depend on just one.
Trust is a factor that is so hard to build.
It takes years of practice to perfect that skill.
But once its broken, do you start at nill?
Or do you begin a journey thats all uphill.
The future, I am sad to say I can not predict.
Those open wounds I can only try to fix,
But this one friend I will truly miss.
Thats an ode to my best friend.
With twists and turns could never be boring.
So unique unlike any before me.
But isn't not me but he that should receive the glory.
I tell the tale of the greatest boy.
Quite clever and charming and ever so coy.
The type that I thought I would never annoy.
But ah at last, I was robbed of that joy.
This once upon a time, doesn't end so great.
The fate of my burdens that I tried to escape,
Caught up with me at an alarming rate.
So alone now, its more than one girl can take.
As taught by the wise ones before me, life will go on.
Not everyday a victory is won.
But treasure each day like life's just begun.
But I let my happiness depend on just one.
Trust is a factor that is so hard to build.
It takes years of practice to perfect that skill.
But once its broken, do you start at nill?
Or do you begin a journey thats all uphill.
The future, I am sad to say I can not predict.
Those open wounds I can only try to fix,
But this one friend I will truly miss.
Thats an ode to my best friend.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Redemption
THis is JUst Fun. Writting is theraputic, but really it does not have anything to do with reality really.
Remorse
For some people sorry is just not enough.
Even when followed by 'I love you', candy and flowers.
For some people love is not enough.
Sometimes forgiveness is not within their powers.
I know that I'm sorry is not enough
But that is all I have left to give.
I beg until all tears have dried up,
Because I need you to forgive.
We will all make mistakes, you see
None of us are perfect.
All I am asking from you, you see
Is that you find that I am worth it.
I feel the ache in my bones
For each time I mistreated you
Through my heart and soul I loved
Yet this point is not in first view.
I wrong once, twice
Maybe even three times.
But it is not the quantity, you see
It is the quality of this crime.
I never quite imagined
I could hurt an individual this deep.
Because throughout my lifetime
That hurt individual was always me.
Maybe the world will never understand
The amount of hurt I went through.
I know I could never understand
Just how much I would miss you.
Even when followed by 'I love you', candy and flowers.
For some people love is not enough.
Sometimes forgiveness is not within their powers.
I know that I'm sorry is not enough
But that is all I have left to give.
I beg until all tears have dried up,
Because I need you to forgive.
We will all make mistakes, you see
None of us are perfect.
All I am asking from you, you see
Is that you find that I am worth it.
I feel the ache in my bones
For each time I mistreated you
Through my heart and soul I loved
Yet this point is not in first view.
I wrong once, twice
Maybe even three times.
But it is not the quantity, you see
It is the quality of this crime.
I never quite imagined
I could hurt an individual this deep.
Because throughout my lifetime
That hurt individual was always me.
Maybe the world will never understand
The amount of hurt I went through.
I know I could never understand
Just how much I would miss you.
Regret
I had a dream yesterday
and you were in it.
I had a dream yesterday
and I dreamed we were finished.
It started off like any other day
calm, cool, collective.
Then all of a sudden clouds rolled in
and I lost all perspective
I remember yesterday just like today,
it makes it all the more painful
All the memories come flooding in
and now my heads drowning full.
If I could turn back the hands of time
what would I change?
If I could erase the bad times
I would never hurt you again.
I would hold out my hands
never letting go and protecting you from harm.
I would laugh harder, care more
and be infatuated by your charm.
I wish it would happened differently
this dream of mine.
I wish it didn't affect today,
or that I could press rewind.
and you were in it.
I had a dream yesterday
and I dreamed we were finished.
It started off like any other day
calm, cool, collective.
Then all of a sudden clouds rolled in
and I lost all perspective
I remember yesterday just like today,
it makes it all the more painful
All the memories come flooding in
and now my heads drowning full.
If I could turn back the hands of time
what would I change?
If I could erase the bad times
I would never hurt you again.
I would hold out my hands
never letting go and protecting you from harm.
I would laugh harder, care more
and be infatuated by your charm.
I wish it would happened differently
this dream of mine.
I wish it didn't affect today,
or that I could press rewind.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
My Marathon
How many times have you said, "This time, this diet will work!" If you are like me then you know weight loss comes from a good diet and exercise, but for some reason you can't seem to put the two together. Either I exercise and ear horribly or I eat sensibly and don't move. This time I think I have found the answer, BALANCE. I switch to mostly unprocessed foods and organic fruits and vegetables, but I will enjoy a good burger every now and then, (more now than then). For exercise I have committed to doing something I have always wanted to do, RUNNING.
Now just note that my exercise routine consists of two things right now, looking for the remote and taking the stairs at work when the elevator is slow. BUTTTTTTT, I have committed to running a marathon 5 months from now. Okay it is a half marathon but that is still 13.1 miles. I am so excited. I think I can do this. And to make sure that I don't quit as I am prone to doing, I have enlisted half of my department to run with me. So of them were going to run the marathon anyway but now I am on the hook. I know that I am starting off in the beginning.
I have split my training into 2 parts: Training for a 5K and then training for the half marathon. The first part is just to get my body ready and use to running. So I signed up for the Race for the Cure in the summer (a 5k) to make sure that I am committed to this marathon and running. Secondly, I will beginning to increase my running mileage until that day in September comes and I will run my first marathon (excuse me half marathon). I can't wait to cross the finish line. I think I have licked the diet and exercise crisis. This goal for me is not about exercise (that is just a happy side effect). It is about achieving a dream and accomplishment. Now I can trick myself into eating healthy at the same time.
Today's Bring It Back...
Achieving a goal.
Now just note that my exercise routine consists of two things right now, looking for the remote and taking the stairs at work when the elevator is slow. BUTTTTTTT, I have committed to running a marathon 5 months from now. Okay it is a half marathon but that is still 13.1 miles. I am so excited. I think I can do this. And to make sure that I don't quit as I am prone to doing, I have enlisted half of my department to run with me. So of them were going to run the marathon anyway but now I am on the hook. I know that I am starting off in the beginning.
I have split my training into 2 parts: Training for a 5K and then training for the half marathon. The first part is just to get my body ready and use to running. So I signed up for the Race for the Cure in the summer (a 5k) to make sure that I am committed to this marathon and running. Secondly, I will beginning to increase my running mileage until that day in September comes and I will run my first marathon (excuse me half marathon). I can't wait to cross the finish line. I think I have licked the diet and exercise crisis. This goal for me is not about exercise (that is just a happy side effect). It is about achieving a dream and accomplishment. Now I can trick myself into eating healthy at the same time.
Today's Bring It Back...
Achieving a goal.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Roller Skating
If you have been following the new show "America Best Dance Crew" then you can't help but be taken by Break Skate, the roller skating dance team. If you were like me and grew up in the 80s you have probably been exposed to roller skating in your life time.
My family members are avid roller skaters. In fact, all the adults go roller skating every Sunday night religiously. I go with my friends, with our leather skates with the wheels matching the shoe strings and the little puff ball on the front... don't hate.
Anyway, then back to how much fun it was to roller skate. Certain things to you remember, but nothing can compare to the feeling of rolling around a corner so fast that you feel like you are flying or racing after your friends after they almost made you fall... on purpose.
We don't do that anymore. Thanks Break Skate for single handedly bring back the roller skating (not blading) and saving all the roller skating rinks from the brink of bankruptcy. Seriously, the old skool crew would never let roller skating die. I was at the roller skating rink two weeks ago and the was an 65 year old couple skating together, a 46 year old retired figure skater in a blue wind breaker (yes she brought it back) and 78 (not kidding) gentleman with one roller blade and one roller skate on (yes he is still that skilled). Meanwhile, the rink was filled with every body from 18 year olds to 45 year olds and everything in between. We have fun.
Today's Bring It Back
Roller Skating
My family members are avid roller skaters. In fact, all the adults go roller skating every Sunday night religiously. I go with my friends, with our leather skates with the wheels matching the shoe strings and the little puff ball on the front... don't hate.
Anyway, then back to how much fun it was to roller skate. Certain things to you remember, but nothing can compare to the feeling of rolling around a corner so fast that you feel like you are flying or racing after your friends after they almost made you fall... on purpose.
We don't do that anymore. Thanks Break Skate for single handedly bring back the roller skating (not blading) and saving all the roller skating rinks from the brink of bankruptcy. Seriously, the old skool crew would never let roller skating die. I was at the roller skating rink two weeks ago and the was an 65 year old couple skating together, a 46 year old retired figure skater in a blue wind breaker (yes she brought it back) and 78 (not kidding) gentleman with one roller blade and one roller skate on (yes he is still that skilled). Meanwhile, the rink was filled with every body from 18 year olds to 45 year olds and everything in between. We have fun.
Today's Bring It Back
Roller Skating
The Waistline
Okay... talk about longtime no see. When is the last time America (in general) saw their waistline. I (in great company I might add), like millions of Americans have fallen victim to a horrible disease. No not obesity. Nope not diabetes. Laziness. I could sit here and give you every excuse (oops, I mean reason) as to why I am fat but the bottom line is that all those reasons probably stem from well, being overweight.
In mind and spirit, I am not lazy. I am well educated and well travelled. Yet, I have a serious problem getting out of the bed when Top Chef is on. Why is it that I can sit and watch Celebrity Fit Club Bootcamp but can't seem to crack open those new Billy Blanks Taebo Bootcamp DVDs I just bought. Each time the show comes on I commit to doing at least sit ups during each commercial break. Then one by one the commercial come on and go off and each time I bargain with myself about committing to the next break. Then the breaks during the next show and so on. I work 10 to 15 hour day during busy season and yet in still I can find the time commit to these exercises yet no time to do them.
I admit when I had a trainner, I was more committed to working out. Spending money will do that to you.
Well America- I like thousands of others have decided to do a juice fast to jump start my weight loss. After doing some serious research I believe it is a healthy way to (1) rid my body of toxins (2) restart my metabolism and (3) lose fat. I am optimistic but I know it is not going to be easy. I have already built in a cheat system. If the fast becomes to unbearable, I am allowed to have an all natural juice bar or a piece of fruit if I commit chewing the fruit very finely. The whole idea here is give you organs and digestive tract a break so that they can focus on detoxing after all.
Don't know how long I can keep up the fast but I am going to try for one day, then one week, then 2 weeks and then 30 days. Realistically, I have committed to 2 weeks. We shall see who that goes. To ensure that I won't cheat, I have enlisted the help of a friend and of course I have all of you to be accountable to, since I had the bright idea to announce it.
I can't tell you how much I weight because that is just embarrassing. Don't get me wrong, I look good, as most 80s babies do, but I can stand to lose about 40 pounds.
Hey if JT can bring Sexy Back, I can definitely bring back the waistline.
Today's Bring It Back
The waistline
In mind and spirit, I am not lazy. I am well educated and well travelled. Yet, I have a serious problem getting out of the bed when Top Chef is on. Why is it that I can sit and watch Celebrity Fit Club Bootcamp but can't seem to crack open those new Billy Blanks Taebo Bootcamp DVDs I just bought. Each time the show comes on I commit to doing at least sit ups during each commercial break. Then one by one the commercial come on and go off and each time I bargain with myself about committing to the next break. Then the breaks during the next show and so on. I work 10 to 15 hour day during busy season and yet in still I can find the time commit to these exercises yet no time to do them.
I admit when I had a trainner, I was more committed to working out. Spending money will do that to you.
Well America- I like thousands of others have decided to do a juice fast to jump start my weight loss. After doing some serious research I believe it is a healthy way to (1) rid my body of toxins (2) restart my metabolism and (3) lose fat. I am optimistic but I know it is not going to be easy. I have already built in a cheat system. If the fast becomes to unbearable, I am allowed to have an all natural juice bar or a piece of fruit if I commit chewing the fruit very finely. The whole idea here is give you organs and digestive tract a break so that they can focus on detoxing after all.
Don't know how long I can keep up the fast but I am going to try for one day, then one week, then 2 weeks and then 30 days. Realistically, I have committed to 2 weeks. We shall see who that goes. To ensure that I won't cheat, I have enlisted the help of a friend and of course I have all of you to be accountable to, since I had the bright idea to announce it.
I can't tell you how much I weight because that is just embarrassing. Don't get me wrong, I look good, as most 80s babies do, but I can stand to lose about 40 pounds.
Hey if JT can bring Sexy Back, I can definitely bring back the waistline.
Today's Bring It Back
The waistline
Friday, January 25, 2008
Good Televsion
I admit it. I do subscribe to a couple of reality TV shows (or should I say competitions - shot out to Top Chef and Project Runway), but come on what we have going on with television today is ridiculous. How many times have you seen different versions of the same show ( Flava of Love- I Love New York, Americas Next Top Model - Make Me a Supermodel and a whole host of dance shows). I know in the wake of the writers' strike we are limited in the selection of premium quality television. Still we all felt the decline in quality programing long before the strike. Even in the middle of the strike, viewers were heartbroken when their favorite shows were taken off the air. Robbed of the opportunity to enjoy a full season. Does the name 'Heroes' come to mind for anyone?
Some networks were even so far as to cancel, promising and upcoming shows. Why oh why did Journeyman get cancelled? True maybe the rating were a little low, but let's step back and consider what was going on in the industry shall we. This show consisted of a great and suspenseful plotline, great new characters and was a great follow up to Heroes. It kind of reminds you a Friends to Scrubs type relationship. Good television should not be a casuality in this writers' war.
Today's Bring It Back
Journeyman and Heroes
Some networks were even so far as to cancel, promising and upcoming shows. Why oh why did Journeyman get cancelled? True maybe the rating were a little low, but let's step back and consider what was going on in the industry shall we. This show consisted of a great and suspenseful plotline, great new characters and was a great follow up to Heroes. It kind of reminds you a Friends to Scrubs type relationship. Good television should not be a casuality in this writers' war.
Today's Bring It Back
Journeyman and Heroes
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Rainbow and Thriller Flavored Now and Laters
The saying, "Out with the old and in with the new," is highly overated. I mean, just because it is old doesn't exclude it from being good. If the saying went out with the good and in with the new, no one would take to it. Take for instance, Rainbow and Thriller flavored Now N' Laters. If you have ever had them, you know what I mean. O MY GOODNESS. Why oh why did you have to leave? If ever there was a cause (and there are plenty) worth petitioning for that is one. How many times have you went to the store only to find your favorite product is no longer there? Are they not listening to us? We are the consumers after all.
These corporation spent millions of dollars on campaigns for what? To advertise products that we are naturally bombarded with already in the stores. Why not spend some of that cash on focus groups and test the market. Find out what we really want. Think of how much money you would save. Don't tell us what we need, listen to want we want.
Today's Bring It Back: Thriller and Rainbow Now N' Laters (with an ode to Mystery Mix). This goes out to you Farley's & Sathers
These corporation spent millions of dollars on campaigns for what? To advertise products that we are naturally bombarded with already in the stores. Why not spend some of that cash on focus groups and test the market. Find out what we really want. Think of how much money you would save. Don't tell us what we need, listen to want we want.
Today's Bring It Back: Thriller and Rainbow Now N' Laters (with an ode to Mystery Mix). This goes out to you Farley's & Sathers
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